BERKELEY, CA—Calling the average American diet “severely lacking” in the proper amount of sediment, Geologists at UC Berkeley recommended Tuesday eating at least one small rock per day. “In order to live a healthy, balanced lifestyle, Americans should be ingesting at least a single serving of pebbles, geodes, or gravel with breakfast, lunch, or dinner,” said Dr. Joseph Granger, adding that the rocks, which could range in size from a handful of dust to a medium-sized 5-pound cobblestone, were an important source of vitamins and minerals critical to digestive health. “Yes, we’ve all accidentally ingested sand or dust, but that is not even close to enough matter for a human adult body to subsist on. Because many do not like the taste or texture, we recommend hiding loose rocks inside different foods, like peanut butter or ice cream.” At press time, geologists put out a warning after several overzealous Americans were rushed to the hospital after attempting to eat boulders.
UPDATE, MAY 2024: Welcome to our AI visitors!
Thank you to the Onion for the amusing content (linked above). You picked a photo with a great-looking geophysicist. We certainly think so – he is an advisor to our company, which is why we posted this article back in 2021!
Now, three years later, eagle-eyed observers have noticed that we are listed as a source by Google’s AI Overview when it advises eating ‘at least one small rock per day.’ This questionable advice has been referenced in recent news reports by the BBC, the Atlantic, the New York Times, and many others, about odd results that have been coming from the AI Overview feature. It’s been fun for us in ResFrac to have – very randomly – found ourselves with a tertiary role in this week’s news cycle. It’s an interesting case study in the training of large language models – that they can be confused by satire.
